January 6, 2015

It Just Takes Confidence

January 6, 2015

Until You’re a Mom

January 6, 2015
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until you're a momThe other day, someone made a comment on Facebook, and I literally had to force my fingers to delete my snarky response.

The subject was leggings, and boy – do leggings seem to get people riled up. Everyone has strong opinions on whether leggings are actually pants. Obviously, everyone is entitled to their own opinion about this. Here’s mine: I’m not a big fan of wearing them without your rear being covered, unless they are true stretch pants with nice, thick fabric – fabric that makes them actual pants and not tights. When I was in Paris last year, every woman on the street was wearing that type of pant, and who is chicer than the French woman?

Anyhoo, that’s not what got me riled up.

It started out innocently enough. “I hate leggings as pants!” Ok – fair enough. And then, this: “If I were a mom, I’d never allow my daughter to wear those out.”

IF you were a mom? Because see, if you are NOT a mom, then you simply don’t get to make absolute statements about what you would do if you WERE a mom.

Because you simply have no idea.

I know you think you do. Believe me, before I was a mom, I thought in absolutes as well.

“I will ALWAYS follow through on my threats to my kids.” Until I realized that sometimes the best decision I make for my children is to show them grace and talk about why I changed my mind.

“I will NEVER allow my kids more than one hour a day of screen time.” Until I’m stuck at home for a week with sick kiddos who are going stir crazy and darn it – Mommy needs a little break from the madness, so help me!

The list could go on and on.

I personally do not love the look of cotton leggings with a tshirt that doesn’t cover my daughter’s backside. But that is not a battle I’m willing to fight.

And here’s why: take a look around any school, any mall, anywhere you go, and every young girl is wearing leggings with a tee or sweatshirt. Do you remember being young? If you were anything like me, you wanted to fit in. I’ve already asked my daughter to be different from her peers in that she stand up for her beliefs, that she fight for what’s right and not be a yes-girl. There is so much that I expect of her that will make her feel like she’s not blending in. If she wants to wear what everybody else is wearing, than by all means – she should do it. Even if it’s not a look that I love.

Your battle might not be leggings. Your battle might be over whatever prevents the public meltdown. Your battle might be choosing between forcing your picky eater to finish their broccoli or to try again with veggies tomorrow.

But if you are a parent, there will be a battle for you. One you will lose. A time in which you say to yourself, “I give in on this one.”

Because if you are a parent, then you know there are no absolutes. You know that you cannot use words like never or always, because the day will come in which “never” becomes “just this once.”

If you aren’t yet a parent, have a plan. Read parenting books, think about the choices you will make when you are blessed with little ones. But know that you aren’t required to be married to those choices once you make them. Believe me – it is darn near impossible not to bend on anything once you’re in the throes of parental decision making.

I know that I likely won’t be able to convince you to think differently about what it will be like when you become a parent. But for heavens sake, I hope I can at least convince you not to put it into writing in a public forum. ;)

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  1. Believe me, leggings as pants is probably my BIGGEST pet peeve right now, but guess who wore them to school yesterday as pants? My 13 year old daughter. I agree with you 100% on this one. I try to encourage longer shirts, but I don’t always succeed. I encourage her to wear different things and explain this is how to be a trend setter and every once in awhile she listens. I consider this a victory. I’m totally in your camp 100%!!

    But no matter what the trends, you’ll NEVER catch me wearing leggings as pants!!!

  2. I honestly think kids can get away with it but I shouldn’t:) So funny, I’ve been working on a post this week on how to cover your behind while wearing leggings!! It’s actually difficult to find long shirts for my almost 11 year old daughter and for me too, sometimes! Parenting is hard enough without all the additional comments. Some battles just aren’t worth the fight and I used to say “I will never” before I had kids too. Wow, how that has changed!! Have a great day!


  3. I was gifted a bottle of travel size hairspray once and I used the entire can on my head in one morning. I literally sprayed half of my hair up and over my head to look like Boy George (sans shaving) . Anyways looking back I am mortified I went to school like that, and I asked my mom why in the world she would allow me to be seen in public like that. She always says she had a different battle to have out with me that morning that was more important. #sometimesyougottapickandchoose I get it now that I am raising my own strong willed daughter.
    Ps. I know better than to wear leggings without covering up my bootie, but teen girls look cuuute in leggings!

  4. Amen! My 8.5 yr old daughter is 47 pounds… do you think I can find ANY other pants that fit her tiny waist/butt other than leggings? Not even super skinny slim jeans… not that she likes to wear jeans anyway :)

  5. Absolute speak by non-parents is a pet peeve. But mainly out of embarrassment bc I know I used to do that. Oh the ideas I had pre-kids! I think it’s great to have plans/ideas/theories before you have kids–really, it’s human nature. But, like you wrote, the key is acknowledging & being ok with the fact that they might (ok, probably WIILL) change is key. The thing I have very little patience for is when someone who is not a parent tries to give me advice on something–especially if it’s unsolicited advice. But that’s for a whole different rant. ;)

  6. Oh I love this. My main stipulation is “is it weather appropriate?” If it is, go ahead and leave the house. Oh, and “will anyone see your butt if you [insert physical activity here]?” People get so angry online….if it doesn’t affect your daily life, why do you care so much, people???
    Rant over.

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