The other day, someone made a comment on Facebook, and I literally had to force my fingers to delete my snarky response.
The subject was leggings, and boy – do leggings seem to get people riled up. Everyone has strong opinions on whether leggings are actually pants. Obviously, everyone is entitled to their own opinion about this. Here’s mine: I’m not a big fan of wearing them without your rear being covered, unless they are true stretch pants with nice, thick fabric – fabric that makes them actual pants and not tights. When I was in Paris last year, every woman on the street was wearing that type of pant, and who is chicer than the French woman?
Anyhoo, that’s not what got me riled up.
It started out innocently enough. “I hate leggings as pants!” Ok – fair enough. And then, this: “If I were a mom, I’d never allow my daughter to wear those out.”
IF you were a mom? Because see, if you are NOT a mom, then you simply don’t get to make absolute statements about what you would do if you WERE a mom.
Because you simply have no idea.
I know you think you do. Believe me, before I was a mom, I thought in absolutes as well.
“I will ALWAYS follow through on my threats to my kids.” Until I realized that sometimes the best decision I make for my children is to show them grace and talk about why I changed my mind.
“I will NEVER allow my kids more than one hour a day of screen time.” Until I’m stuck at home for a week with sick kiddos who are going stir crazy and darn it – Mommy needs a little break from the madness, so help me!
The list could go on and on.
I personally do not love the look of cotton leggings with a tshirt that doesn’t cover my daughter’s backside. But that is not a battle I’m willing to fight.
And here’s why: take a look around any school, any mall, anywhere you go, and every young girl is wearing leggings with a tee or sweatshirt. Do you remember being young? If you were anything like me, you wanted to fit in. I’ve already asked my daughter to be different from her peers in that she stand up for her beliefs, that she fight for what’s right and not be a yes-girl. There is so much that I expect of her that will make her feel like she’s not blending in. If she wants to wear what everybody else is wearing, than by all means – she should do it. Even if it’s not a look that I love.
Your battle might not be leggings. Your battle might be over whatever prevents the public meltdown. Your battle might be choosing between forcing your picky eater to finish their broccoli or to try again with veggies tomorrow.
But if you are a parent, there will be a battle for you. One you will lose. A time in which you say to yourself, “I give in on this one.”
Because if you are a parent, then you know there are no absolutes. You know that you cannot use words like never or always, because the day will come in which “never” becomes “just this once.”
If you aren’t yet a parent, have a plan. Read parenting books, think about the choices you will make when you are blessed with little ones. But know that you aren’t required to be married to those choices once you make them. Believe me – it is darn near impossible not to bend on anything once you’re in the throes of parental decision making.
I know that I likely won’t be able to convince you to think differently about what it will be like when you become a parent. But for heavens sake, I hope I can at least convince you not to put it into writing in a public forum.
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